Tamia Timberlake's blog

True Happiness

I have come to realize that the only sure things in life are: God, his word, and promises.

I now understand that in order to find true happiness I have to stop looking to man and focus my attention on the only constants in my life; God and his son, Jesus Christ.

I now know that true happiness can not be found in men. Neither can this joy be found in the temporary satiation's of food, drug, or oblivion.

 I don't need anyone to complete me.  It suffices that God's spirit lives within me thus I am one with myself; in essence totally complete. 

Happiness is not a dream away.  It can not be bought nor can it be orchestrated to fit someone's ideal.  Happiness lies within the reach of each and everyone of us. It is written on the faces of each child, emblazoned on the wings of butterflies, colored by the petals of wild flowers, scented by ocean air, sung by birds, and touched by an angels kiss. Simple pleasures that cost nothing but a moment of your time. We need only to look deep within ourselves to experience such joy.  Indeed, we are truly blessed.

(c)Tamia C. Timberlake 2005

Sixty Seconds

As we grow we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.  We will have our hearts broken more than once and each time it won't get easier.  We'll break hearts too and more than likely it won't be because we want to.  We'll fight with our best friends, fallout with family members, blame a new love for the things an old love did.  We'll cry because time has passed by so quickly, because we haven't accomplished our goals, because we've been abused,  neglected, and unloved, because we've lost all since of direction, because someone has died. These are just some of the facts of life that are just too real.  So, go ahead, take too many pictures; laugh way too loud and too hard; dance like no one's watching; cry tears of joy, pain,and sorrow all the same; love-love like you've never been hurt; and if you have, and I know you have,  forget about it all because every 60 seconds you spend upset and angry is a minute of you're life you'll never be able to get back.
(c) 2005 Tamia C. Timberlake

Everything I Need

These are the lyrics to a song I wrote back in 1995. They praise and recognize God for bringing me through many a dark storm.  Selah!

 

You gave me life

some years ago

without your love

I would not be.

 

The love you've given me

is worth more than gold

you mean the world to me.

 

You lift me heavenward when I'm down.

You give flight to delicate wings.

You help me glide through the air above.

You are everything I need.

 

You give me courage to keep the faith

when all odds are against me.

When I was blind and couldn't find me way

it was you who helped me see.

 

You lift me heavenward when I'm down.

You give flight to delicate wings.

You help me glide through the air above.

You are everything I need.

 

(C) Tamia C. Timberlake 1995

 

The Killing Time

Tender was his kiss when he said good-bye.

Good-bye.

 

That fateful day

he took my summer away.

Gray skies brought eternal rains

that flooded my senses

and weakend my defenses

till I was lifeless and blue.

 

An empty bed laid out in front of me

crumpled sheets screamed out scarlett red

I'm remembering what he did to me

how afraid I was...how scared.

The loneliness is what I feared.

 

Alone...

Left all alone with the memories.

How the memories sting the wounded heart.

A heart who's only commission is to bleed

because now it really has no other need

and when reality settles in...

and the pangs of strife begin

it's his seed I'm left with.

 

I paint his picture over and over in my mind

Colors fade to black

I'm beside myself and

losing track of time.

I press play to relax

the song comes to and end

I relate to the lyrics

I hit rewind so I can here it again.

Clock strikes midnight

his warmth I seek

but do not find.

One past midnight...

It's the killing time.

 

(C) Tamia C. Timberlake 2008

 

 

 

 

Mother Eternal

Cursed and black were the days before you, he exclaims.

He conjures her up in the deep recesses of his mind.

Mother eternal he blesses her.

I love you fallen mother please show me your ways.

These are fallen moments crushed into obliteration never to be conceived again.

You are the only one that understand the needs of this misguided man.

Expose my love...there is no shame. 

Kiss away the anger...embrace away the pain.

I will never leave you.

Don't deny my soul.

You are the right to my wrong, I am the weak to your strong.

Mother eternal calm my evil ways.

I know you can break me down.

I know you can break me down.

 

(C)Tamia C. Timberlake 2008

Hello Love

Hello love

nice to see you again.

Where have you been old friend?

Didn't think I'd see you again.

Too soon for an old fool

schooled in the after affect

but I welcome you all the same

with the utmost respect

 

I'll bend if you promise I won't break.

I'll give it another chance

but you've got to up the stakes.

I've broken some promises

we've both made our mistakes.

I'll come back to you, love

Let's end this hate.

 

 

Hello love.

(c)Tamia C. Timberlake 2008

 

Don't Wait Too Long

She stares into the mirror

but doesn't recognize the person staring back.

"Those are not my eyes", she says.

She smashes the mirror

but it doesn't crack.

 

"These are not my tears"!

So many I have cried.

What happened to the years?

So many have gone by.

But, as hard as she tries

she can't believe her own lies.

 

She fears the worst

as if it were her first time.

On her knees pleading,

"God, show me a sign.

Give me an answer

so I can let this pain go

end this slow death

before anyone knows".

 

Constant reminders flicker back

her train derailed

she's way off track.

Can't seem to make it right

it's all so very wrong

on her knees begging,

"God, please make me strong".

On her knees, pleading,

"Help me right these wrongs.

But, whatever you do, God,

don't wait too long.

Whatever you do, God,

don't wait too long".

 

© Tamia C. Timberlake 2008

 

 

Life

Why do you neglect me?

Won't you say my name?

Maybe you've forgotten me

or maybe you're ashamed?

 

Where are you my friend?

What happend to, "I'll be with you to the end"?

Why make promises you can't keep?

As I lie wide awake

you die in your sleep.

 

Lifes' too deep.

She weeps...

She weeps...

 

Life's too deep.

She sleeps.

She sleeps.

 

If I could save you I would

but I can't seem to save myself.

Where others bathe in wealth

I'm penniless and broken.

Once outspoken

I'm a shell of what used to be.

"Who is this"? I question.

The answer, "That used to be me".

 

Why do you neglect me?

Won't you say my name?

Maybe you've forgotten me

or maybe you're ashamed?

 

Where are you my friend?

What happend to, "I'll be with you to the end"?

Why make promises you can't keep?

As I lie wide awake

you die in your sleep.

 

Lifes' too deep!

She weeps...

She weeps...

 

Life's too deep!

She sleeps.

She sleeps.

 

© Tamia C. Timberlake 2007